Sea of Humanity

Preemptive Clown Action

Yesterday, I entertained a couple of thoughts. The first was that I might purchase a firearm. I imagined I would keep it in a nice little glass box under my bed. Do you think I am a crazy militia man caching weapons in the woods and building bomb shelters? I can assure you that I am not, though I do have 5 cans of baked beans and 10 bottles of bubbly water in my kitchen cabinets.

I was a Boy Scout once. The motto we scouts lived by, "Be Prepared". It's a good motto, though maybe it's too ominous. Of course, there is nothing worse than to be caught up in a riot and be the only one without a gun. With my new gun and wearing my old scout uniform, I and my neighbors would be feeling pretty damn secure. I wonder who is allowed to have weapons in the State of Illinois. I will do some research. I would only want a pistol if I could conceal it like a secret agent and if it came with a special merit badge.

My second thought was that if civil unrest doesn't wreak havoc on the streets, I might become a comedian. Are comedians with guns funny? I would dress up as a clown in a scout uniform to make it funnier. You better laugh damn it! Don't make me pull my piece. Then I would squeeze my big red nose. Honk! Honk! I would never use a gun to hurt someone, I would just use it to make people laugh. First, I would have to learn gun safety from Who Who the Clown.

Meanwhile, the Wicked Fissure is missing in action. It is quite possible that he has been lost to work and booze. We here at the Sea still have hope he can muster a post when he overcomes his Guiness induced stupor.