Sea of Humanity

Hamster in a Wheel

So I flew back to Manhattan from Beantown this morning on a 7:30 A.M flight. I was at the airport somewhere before 6:00 A.M. Suffice to say, I was up early this morning. The weather was chilly and super gusty (30-50mph gusts, I would guess).

As is my usual airport routine, I hit the bookstore at the airport and got a magazine. The magazine "Outside" is, as far as I can tell, a magazine of advertisements for expensive athletic/extreme sports equipment with a few articles thrown in here and there. It was not a good read.

So after the bumpiest flight I have ever been on. I got back to Manhattan and went to the gym for my "long ride" of the week. I wanted to bike outside but it was way too windy and cold for my tastes. (Especially since I don't have a winter windbreaker.)

Riding on a stationary bike is one thing and one thing alone: BORING. Especially when you have nothing to break up the monotony. When you are on a stationary bike for almost two hours your mind craves things to do; things other than staring at the building across the street or looking at your shoes. My gym tried to remedy the boredom problem, but failed miserably.

Like most gyms, my gym has flat screen t.v's attached to all of the stairmasters, stationary bikes, and elliptical trainers. The theory being that you can watch television and not be bored working out. Unfortunately, the tv's at my gym only get shitty stations like the food-network and the 24 hour paid infomercials station. So there is nothing to really take your attention away from the fact that you are biking in one place for more than an hour. (Unless of course you are really interested in the proper way to prepare salmon or what a fat guy looks like after three week using Bowflex. "Twenty minutes three times a week" my ass.) In fact I would venture to say that the stations actually make any work out seem that much longer. Note to gym management: What is the point of having televisions on the equipment if you don't have a decent cable plan?? Is ESPN too much to ask?

I biked for an hour and forty five minutes and completed somewhere around 20 miles when I just couldn't take it anymore. I decided to change pace and run on the treadmill. So I got off the bike, walked over to the tread mill and start running. After a mile of running, I realized that nothing had really changed. I was essentially running in place but looking out of a different window. Oh and I think Emeril Live was on. I finally just gave up on the gym. I grabbed my bike and went outside for an ass freezing good time. Two miles into the ride, I turned around and came back. The wind was brutal and my ass was frozen to the bike seat. I need to pick up a winter windbreaker sooner rather than later. At least I felt pretty good after the ride.

I thought this was slightly amusing. After seeing Michael Jackson's new website, Jack the Ripper has put a website up of his own. I wouldn't click on any of the links on the website unless you are pretty open minded. Being a perv, Jack links to some pretty risque sites. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Posted by Pernicious at November 29, 2003 1:15 PM | TrackBack