Sea of Humanity

A Snake in the Grass

So, I get on the bike and ride my ass over to Central Park for some cycling love. I do two laps of the park and then pull up a nice piece of grass and take out my digital camera. I had come to the park prepared to take a bunch of pictures of people and their crazy outfits and then write a post about them. Sorta of a "What are people in Central Park wearing nowadays" expose. But apparently the word got out, because the park was full of normal people dressed blandly. It sucked. Usually the park is crawling with people in all sorts of hilarious get ups. Not today. Shorts and Tee Shirts, Shorts and Tee-shirts, Spandex tops, Shorts and Tee-Shirts blah blah blah. No midgets on unicycles, no tranvestites in too tight tops and skirts, no cape wearing goths, no overly pierced modern primitives, no dental floss wearing land whales, no multiple dog walking lunatics, nothing. I felt like I was in Oklahoma or something. It was just not a good day, even the break dancers at Grand Army Plaza were half assing it.

After sitting around for forty-five minutes, it was apparent to me that my picture taking idea was a wash. I did, however, come to the realization that we are a nation of fat mofo's. It is pretty gross, but what can you do? I vaguely remember a Mad magazine I had when I was kid which had a piece on the evolution of man. It posited that humans would eventually become gelatinous blobs that drove everywhere on motorized scooters because legs had become vestigial organs. We may not be far off from that point.

Oh, and can we do something about these lunatic terrorists? They have lost touch with reality. They are delusional, culturally brainwashed morons. Iran recently had a suicide bomber conference to recruit more suicide bombers. What is that? Where was the preemptive strike on the conference? Someone just has to go over there an regulate, before those nut bags try to pull some more skanky shit over here. I like Manhattan the way it is thank you very much.

Enough ranting. I think I am going to go to 7B tonight, mingle with the real people and drink some Pabst.

Posted by Pernicious at June 19, 2004 3:13 PM