Consistency Is A Bitch

So, there I was compiling my top ten songs of 2004, contacting bands for MP3 permission, re-listening to the tracks, shuffling them up and down in order. Mountain Goats trump Eagles of Death Metal type of shit. Then it fucking dawned on me like the walking dead hungry for a bloodletting, I hate this shit. Didn't I remember 2003?

I mean it's like trying to pick an Olsen twin for a sex filled romp, you want both of them...but no, you have to pick only one. Plus, neither of them would ever sleep with you anyway, so what is the point!

When it comes to rating music, I believe the only scale you can use is "I like it, I hate it, I haven't heard it" You listen to a track....uh, I like it. Listen to another? Sure. Oh man, fucking hate that one. What about this? Nope, haven't heard them. Then you do a little of the here's whys. Here's whys I likes it. Here's whys I hates it.

Dig any deeper and you're writing a report with footnotes and shit, and that ain't rock n' roll. You know what I mean? Who wants to read my thesis on the relevance of desperate youth and blood thirsty babes regarding the amoral pissing of spoiled brats and bright eyes? No one. It sounds interesting, but without a beat it's a snooze fest.

So many times, I have heard people ask, "What do you listen to?" The response most always is, "Oh, I listen to everything." Fuck that too. You can't listen to EVERYTHING it is impossible. There is always some group or some track you haven't heard and that is why music is so brilliant. I love the chase, the discovery, the "holy fuck why haven't I heard this before!" My air guitar needs a new muse everyday.

"Oh, I listen to everything." is so non-committal. Maybe that is why people make lists. Makin a list is rock n' roll. It's taking a stand. It's quitting work and touring full time. It's like picking an Oscar winner when you haven't seen any of the movies. It's dumb, but it's kinda Rock N' Roll.

So, pick a fucking group Harry Heard It All! Make a list. Tell' em you believe Yanni is rock's second coming of the KISS. Start arguments, incite thought, perplex people outta there fucking gourds, just pick a band or maybe ten. But, I won't do it.

Making a list is rock n' roll, but it is more rock n' roll to tell ya all to piss off. I just want to listen to tunes, making lists cramps my rock time.

Of course if you ask me for a top ten, I'll tell you. Consistency is a bitch.

Posted by Monkeyspit at December 22, 2004 9:57 PM

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