Your Blog Bores Me

There I said it. I should of known it was gonna go bad when your first post was about your first post. After many visits and much searching for some sort of insight or humor I have found nothing but drivel. Honestly, you're blog is boring me.


I don't care that you just bought a new toothbrush, I want to be entertained with opinions and crazy antics. I want to hear about how you accidently punched your grandmother in the face for eating the last piece of candy. That selfish old hag! Instead, you have to tell the world about how you and so and so went to the store and spent the day comparing prices of oatmeal and sugar lumps. After reading that post, I wanted to rip my eyeballs out and toss them in a fishtank full of piranhas. Why couldn't you have broken out into a two liter soda bottle fight in aisle 8! Imagine what fun you could of had and how angry the stock boy would of been having to clean up such a mess.

What of my experiences? What have I done that is worthy to post on a blog and demand that you read from beginning to end? Well, let's just stop there, because this post is about you and its been a long time coming. Everyone knows I live a vicarious lifestyle. So please, go rob a bank or murder someone. I want action, explosions, suspense, and yes, nudity! I expect to hear all about it in your next post and if its any good I might even leave a comment.

Some Insights:

That post you wrote about about how you had nothing to post and then you started wondering about what you would post tomorrow. I barely was able to take the razor blade away from my wrist.

The time you posted about how you had twenty minutes to kill before you went bowling so you posted about it. Wow. You were knocking over more than pins with that writing job.

Please remove that lame Ralph Waldo Emerson quote from the top of your blog. I'm sick of looking at it and who cares if its a brand new day. You're still blogging the same boring blog.

Oh, and I really don't care, that you fixed your blog, that your blog is broken, or that you decided to change to Moveabletype! PLEASE!

Yes, I know Jesus loves you, but please he hasn't done anything crazy or worthwhile in years.

Your blog about how no one was reading your blog, though correct, stunk!

And just in case you didn't know, everyone has blogged about, "The Weapons of Mass Destruction Cannot Be Displayed" page and about George W. Bush falling off his scooter. So just delete those drafts you have been working on, before you kill me.

Posted by Monkeyspit at July 10, 2003 11:42 AM

Comments

You just left a message making fun of my site, that's cool, it's not meant for you.

But, I see you are from champaign, or at least know champaign well enough to reference the Tumble Inn. Just wondered how you know the city as well as you do? Did you go to the school at the U of I, of what?

Posted by: soebs at July 10, 2003 8:03 PM

Champbana is not an excuse, though it should be! There was no fun being made through my comment just bonding. So please my adoring fan, do not stalk me at the bar plotting revenge, but instead buy me a drink and let's toast to these our weirdly connected lives.

Posted by: Monkeyspit at July 10, 2003 8:52 PM

I actually just moved down from chambana to florida about six months ago. I was not plotting or stalking, just wondered your connection to champaign. I lived there for most of my life. I know, I am a winner! :)

Posted by: soebs at July 10, 2003 9:19 PM

Heh...cute. Yes, having children and getting older can make a person pretty damn boring. Here's to hoping I can find more blogs like yours to liven things up in my life. I'll be back for more.

Posted by: christine at July 11, 2003 3:20 AM

I know you are not talking about my blog!!Fascinating piece of well written glimpses into my fabulous life???

Posted by: Michelle at July 11, 2003 7:06 AM

Hey you commented on my blog so now I'm here to check you out and I hope you saw that video I was talking about.

Posted by: Je at July 11, 2003 7:28 AM

Thank you for this entry. It's so insightful, and I have to agree with it completely.

Posted by: Sirene at July 11, 2003 11:43 PM

Oh dear. What you said really hits at a person's self-esteem, but it also seems to apply to me ^.^;; I'm one of those people who have no real life, and thus have nothing of any real consequence to say. Shall try to work on it more. Good advice.

Posted by: Faerieflight at July 13, 2003 1:15 AM

you stoopid basterd! dont visit my sight if u dont like it then!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Paul at July 15, 2003 5:02 AM

I just brushed my hair, washed my face and now am off to shop for a new toothbrush.

Yesterday I drove 610 miles.

Today I drove less.

Tomorrow I will Drive more.

"I like traffic lights, especially when they are green."

Keith wants Movable type so help him make the transfer.

Posted by: Michael at July 15, 2003 12:08 PM

Loved it!
Very funny!
A satorical look at what everyone is doing with their blogs. Some more than others.
And you finish it off by mentioning the same weblinks as everyone else.
That's when I knew it was a tongue-in-cheek post.
And I am a bit late reading this. Ah well. Still funny.

Posted by: Z at July 26, 2005 2:03 AM

Yeah, Monkeyspit did a good job with this one.

Posted by: Pernicious at July 31, 2005 5:31 PM
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