Follow Me!

Slap My Green Ass!If anytime was a good time to quit your job and follow me, now is it! That's right. The beltless wonder has struck again. I am hemorrhaging money and it can be all yours. Following me around during the day is an easy way to get paid! I leave crisp new twenty dollars bills just lying on the ground. I make withdrawals and black out the minute the cash hits my hands! I hide moola in my pants for my dry cleaner! I even leave Franklins in between pages of fiction while browsing at the local bookstore. Ben Franklin makes a great bookmark. Did you know he discovered the bookmark!

I wear special pants with fake pockets which mislead me into thinking my bills are secured tightly away. Right at this moment, I am wearing pants with holes in BOTH pockets! It is a great way to rid myself of all that unnecessary loose change. Just this morning, I was speaking with a colleague of mine when I felt the cool coinage run down my pant leg and spill out onto the floor. Before, I knew it, my coworkers were groveling at my feet sweeping up on their good fortune. So go on! Punch the boss instead of the time card! You're a follower not a doer. How can I afford such an extravagant lifestyle? I don't know! Who cares! I'm too busy making other people happy.

Posted by Monkeyspit at May 10, 2004 1:06 PM


I'm amazed that monkeyspit and I share so much. Beachcombing for humanity... beltless wonderment... holy pockets wasting the Franklins and Jacksons in search of a better tomorrow. It is all too deja vu. Somehow I believe that monkeyspit must also share my love for Alderman Joe Moore. Say it is true. Please do. Leap from the sea and join the campaign of truth, clarity and a less-semi-machined Rogers Park.

Posted by: mudzapper at June 8, 2004 5:16 PM

Joe Moore assaulted me quite a few times while heading out to work in the morning. Something about voting for him? I did write him a nice letter about the litter in Roger's Park, never did hear back.

My Litter Letter

Posted by: Monkeyspit at June 8, 2004 10:51 PM
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