I was cruising in my girlfriend's 1999 Purple Dodge Neon, a sweet pimp ride if there ever was one. To no surprise, I blew by a pig party waiting to pounce on a playa like myself. It kills me, because I know where Johnny Law hangs out. I thought about Johnny Law hanging out and even smiled a bit to myself with pride about avoiding their clutches. I pumped the gas pedal and roared the Neon toward my destination.
Turns out my destination, was police nation. Two officer on bikes hidden behind to very thin trees busted me for going 40mph in a 30mph. This kills me. 40mph isn’t even fast for the road I was traveling and of course everyone else was traveling at the same speed. My Neon made me stick out of the crowd, and I became the example. Damn the Neon….not even the Sports edition, yet so sexy and fast.
I was busted. I admitted it to the cops. “You caught me.” They wanted to know about my seat belt. Had I tried to sneak it one before pulling over? Did I click it or did I want a ticket. “Sir,” I explained, “I always wear my seatbelt when driving, especially when I know I will be driving 40mph in a 30mph zone. It’s just common sense.” The copper wanted to know if I had a reason to lie to him. “No,” I replied. I was belted in since I left the house. I like a snug fit.
They asked for papers. I handed them registration and an outdated insurance binder. Didn’t I know I needed and updated insurance certificate in the car? This was news to me, I shrugged and blamed it on the dame. They took the bait. I landed with a court date and the suggestion to play “Good Boy” for four months to keep my record clean. Didn’t they know, “Bad Boy” was the only game you can play in a Dodge Neon. It was going to be a tough four months. Before leaving me, they took my license away. They liked the picture and wanted to show their kids.
I had the last laugh. I looked at the ticket. They had made mistakes. The Neon isn't blue. It's purple. Color blind coppers. What a bunch of chuckle heads.Posted by Monkeyspit at August 16, 2004 9:01 AM