Johnny Law
Turns out my destination, was police nation. Two officer on bikes hidden behind to very thin trees busted me for going 40mph in a 30mph. This kills me. 40mph isn’t even fast for the road I was traveling and of course everyone else was traveling at the same speed. My Neon made me stick out of the crowd, and I became the example. Damn the Neon….not even the Sports edition, yet so sexy and fast. I was busted. I admitted it to the cops. “You caught me.” They wanted to know about my seat belt. Had I tried to sneak it one before pulling over? Did I click it or did I want a ticket. “Sir,” I explained, “I always wear my seatbelt when driving, especially when I know I will be driving 40mph in a 30mph zone. It’s just common sense.” The copper wanted to know if I had a reason to lie to him. “No,” I replied. I was belted in since I left the house. I like a snug fit. They asked for papers. I handed them registration and an outdated insurance binder. Didn’t I know I needed and updated insurance certificate in the car? This was news to me, I shrugged and blamed it on the dame. They took the bait. I landed with a court date and the suggestion to play “Good Boy” for four months to keep my record clean. Didn’t they know, “Bad Boy” was the only game you can play in a Dodge Neon. It was going to be a tough four months. Before leaving me, they took my license away. They liked the picture and wanted to show their kids. I had the last laugh. I looked at the ticket. They had made mistakes. The Neon isn't blue. It's purple. Color blind coppers. What a bunch of chuckle heads. Posted by Monkeyspit at August 16, 2004 9:01 AMComments
Just discovered you today. When I read the hilarious line "...Purple Dodge Neon, a sweet pimp ride if there ever was one..." I just had to blogroll your happy ass. Ok, that sounded so wrong. "...So sexy and fast...." Hahaha! Classic. Posted by: Art at August 17, 2004 6:50 PMNothing comes out right driving the Neon. I feel a piece of my masculinity eek away everytime I get behind the wheel. Sitting in traffic one day with the windows rolled down, a fellow Neon Navigator rolled up beside my ride and hollered..."Don't you just hate this car." Ain't that the truth. Posted by: Monkeyspit at August 17, 2004 7:21 PMI've had a long run of cars I've hated - all of them, until finally I got the '72 Cadillac, but thing keep breaking on it and it's the pimpest ride ever (yes, more than your Neon), but it seems like it costs $1000 to change a tire. I feel like I've spent a lifetime dating ugly women and then when I finally date a beautiful one, she's an evil bitch and she's taking all of my money. She beats me, but I still love her... Posted by: lunchmoney at August 19, 2004 11:26 AMI drive a gold mercedes that's almost as old as I am. Now *that* is a pimp ride, G funk. Posted by: at August 30, 2004 3:29 PMyou were speeding. you were endangering people. whatever the fuck other people do doesn't change that fact. pimp rides are for losers. i ride a bike and get more pussy than you can dream of. faggot Posted by: mx at September 19, 2004 12:35 AMI also have a purple Dodge Neon but it doesn't look like the one in your photo. Can you tell me where you got your phat mods? Posted by: Todd at October 21, 2004 9:04 AMI thought I was the only person with a purple neon, I am always afaid I'm going to get pulled over for something stupid that everyone else with a normal car is doing...I've been lucky thus far. Posted by: raven at December 22, 2004 3:38 PMPost a comment
|
I was cruising in my girlfriend's 1999 Purple Dodge Neon, a sweet pimp ride if there ever was one. To no surprise, I blew by a pig party waiting to pounce on a playa like myself. It kills me, because I know where Johnny Law hangs out. I thought about Johnny Law hanging out and even smiled a bit to myself with pride about avoiding their clutches. I pumped the gas pedal and roared the Neon toward my destination.