Jokes it is
Just received the following from a loyal reader:
One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."
As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business..."
Posted by at July 30, 2003 10:24 AM
A new look for the Sea! Wow, I really haven't been around for a while....
Looks great, everyone. :)
One of my colleagues at work forwarded this bad, bad, joke yesterday afternoon.
THE BACON TREE
Back in the cowboy days, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food.
No other people had been seen for days. Unexpectedly, they saw an old Jewish man sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushed up to him and said, "We're lost. Is there some place ahead where we can get food?"
"Vell," the old Jewish man said, "I vould definitely NOT go up dat hill und down other side. Somevun told me you'll run into a big bacon tree."
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader.
"Yah, yah ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nutting vud I lie." The leader goes back and tells his people that,if nothing else, they might be able to find food on the other side of the next ridge. "So why did he say not To go there?" some pioneers asked.
"Oh, you know the Jewish folks - they don't eat bacon."
So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians attack and massacre every one except the leader. He manages to escape back to where the old Jewish man is sitting and enjoying his drink.
The near-dead man starts shouting, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians. They killed everyone but me."
The Jewish man holds up his hand and says, "oy, vait a minute." He gets out an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing through it. "Gevalt, I made myself ah big mistake. It vuz not a bacon tree.
It vuz a ham bush!"