Recently, we were interviewd by Tang Magazine, a publication that has been putting people into space since 1932. The following is a complete transcription of the interview as it happened:
MS: I would like to speak with the director.
Tang: I am sorry sir, the director is busy.
MS: But we have to do my interview.
Tang: You have a scheduled appointment sir?
MS: No. But I won't take very long.
Tang: I am sorry sir, only those with an appointment can see the director.
MS: Have you ever been abducted by aliens ma'am?
Tang: Excuse, me aliens?
MS: Yes, aliens. They are vicious creatures. Slimy green little monsters with boogey eyes.
Tang: Boogey eyes sir? You mean from your nose?
MS: No dammit! From outerspace! Slimey awful boogey eyes with testicle like features that burn into your mind and can never be shaken, even with the most vile and outrageous of thoughts.
Tang: Are you saying you've been abducted?
MS: Abducted is too kind a word. Look at me. I am shaking at the mere mention. You must let me see the director. You're in grave danger!
Tang: I am sorry sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave or I will call security.
MS: You are not listening to me! Damn you fool! Damn you I say!! Why won't you listen to the truth!
At this point in the interview, security was called and MS was escorted from Tang World Headquarters. Three weeks later, Mr. Hooper H. Wheelswell, Director of Tang Magazine's Space Initiative, was found walking aimlessly around Central Park in a soiled suit mumbling about escaped cheese crumbs and the impact of the toilet in American history. Not a soul listened to his truthful predictions.Posted by Monkeyspit at March 29, 2004 2:59 PM